these words have really been sticking to me the past couple of days.
romans 4:13,14,18-24
“For the promise to Abraham and his offspring that he would be heir of the world did not come through the law but through the righteousness of faith. For if it is the adherents of the law who are to be made the heirs, faith is null and the promise is void…In hope he believed against hope, that he should become the father of many nations, as he had been told, “So shall your offspring be.” He did not weaken in faith when he considered his own body, which was as good as dead (since he was about one hundred years old), or when he considered the barrenness of Sarah’s womb. No distrust made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised. That is why his faith was “counted to him as righteousness.” But the words “it was counted to him” were not written for his sake alone, but for ours also. It will be counted to us who believe in him who raised from the dead Jesus our Lord, who was delivered up for our trespasses and raised for our justification.”
let’s just say it has been a WHILE since i have written a blog (so long, that i forgot my login name and password). whoops. whenever i return to the blogging scene after a long break from it, i feel as though i have to have some sort of really meaningful blog and/or explain myself. not happening this time.
i’m gonna let you in on one fun little thing i did today. i went on a hike. by myself. in pretty much, what you could call my backyard. litterally, i just went and hiked in the mountain behind our apartment. what in the world? how many people can actually do that? lately i have been thinking about the things that i will never forget about this place. that will leave an indelible impression in my heart and mind. indelible…isn’t that a good word. i just love those kind of words that you love to hear for some reason.
while it was very enjoyable – some of you might find this humorous – i cannot remember the last time i sweated that much. and that’s saying something. tropical humidity + a hike in the hk mountains (more like a jungle) = unstopable sweat. some of you (as in my mother) might be nervous about me going off and taking a hike on my own. but, don’t worry, i brought plenty of juice with me incase my blood sugar went low.
one thing that i could not get over, was how many different butterflies and birds (and really cute little humming birds) i was seeing. i wanted to get pictures of them, but they were way too fast for my iphone. and then as i continued to take in all of these flying species, i started to notice some really, really large spiders. i’m serious when i say that they were the size of my entire hand. i think i literally lost my breath a few times. that was about the time that i realized i was ready to get back. i wasn’t even going to attempt to stand there and take a picture of them.
i stumbled upon so many things that fascinated me. the whole time, i could not stop my mind from wondering and asking questions. here are a few of them:
this is a grave. i saw many, many of these. they seemed somewhat random to me and out of place. the mountain didn’t seem to be designated as a burial site. i want to know why these are here. how long have they been here. whose ashes lay in those jars? i looked up more info on ancient chinese graves. how historically this nation has “buried” the dead and what the significance of all these things is. after reading up on all i could find on this subject, it seems as though all of these jars in this picture above are one family’s graveyard. the central one in the back is probably the head ancestor with the others being the descendants.
in particular, i had questions about these cups. no matter how many clay jars there were containing people’s remains, there were always three of these cups. my understanding is that all of this traces back to some buddhist beliefs. the cups, i believe, represent food for the dead, in the hope that the spirit would return to reinhabit the body, wherein they would require immediate sustenance. the other smaller cups might have something to do with the soul or the spirit in case the ancestor did not reinhabit the body. (please note that i’m not sure if all of this info is accurate)
there were lots of little random farms i stumbled upon. my guess is that this is where some of the fruits and veggies from our local wet market come from. i have no idea though. and they are so, so small. i just wonder how anyone makes a living on that. and if you live up in one of these tiny little places on the mountain, do you have to pay to live there? i could go on and on with questions on this one.
there were also some gardens, i guess you could say. i would assume that these are grown to sell somewhere in HK.
one view from the trail.
what i like to call a “waterfall.” there are actually pipes running throughout this water source. maybe this is where the water comes from at our apartments?
“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now REMAIN in my love.” [jn 15:9]
This verse has been running over and over again in my head the past few days. So I decided to study it a bit further. I wanted to know what those words really mean. What is He telling us here?
Some translations use the word “abide” rather than “remain.” So what does it even mean to abide? What does it mean to remain? I have a Vine’s dictionary at home that I just love. It tells the meaning of words in both the old testament (Hebrew) and the new testament (Greek).
When I looked up the word “abide ” in Greek, it said some of the following things:
-continue, dwell, endure, remain, stand, tarry.
-to stay in a place instead of leaving it…unto the end; to endure bravely and trustfully.
-to lodge in a house.
-of cleaving unto a person, indicating persistent loyalty.
…I just LOVED that last one. To “cleave.” So of course I looked that one up too…
Cleave: to join FAST together, to glue, cement; joined.
One of the things that really strikes me about this, is how God knew we need to be told, to not only know his love once or know it from a distance, but to REMAIN in it. He knows us and He knows how prone we are in our flesh to move from Him. If we are not functioning out of His love for us and truly knowing that to our core, then we are functioning out of fear.
Over the last several months, in the sanctification process, the Lord has been revealing to me specifically some of the core lies that I believe and struggle with. It manifests itself in many ways, but essentially the core lie that I struggle with is that I am not loved or lovable. I don’t share this with you for condolences at all, but just to share what I am learning and what the Lord is working out in me. God so eagerly wants me to know in those moments where that lie comes above the surface and He wants me to know to my core that He loves me with an unconditional love. Nothing that I do or don’t do has changed or will ever change that. When I don’t live out of the truth of His love, I turn to functioning essentially out of fear. But His perfect love drives out all fear.
I need to remain in His love. Stand firm in His love. Abide. Dwell (love that one). Endure in trust. Join fast to Him and His love. That is where life and truth are found.
In Hong Kong, it is evident that the Chinese New Year is approaching. This is considered to be the most important holiday in China and Hong Kong. In mainland China, most students will get a month off of school to spend time with their families and celebrate this holiday. In HK, students get anywhere from a week to a month off depending on what program they are in. Some of our friends have gone home, and some are staying here. I have really enjoyed talking to them about the Chinese New Year, and seeing with my own eyes what this valuable holiday is and what it means to them.
The following are a few common decorations I have seen thus far in HK in celebration of the holiday, and what they mean.
Red lanterns:: The Chinese New Year is a 15 day long celebration. The final day of the celebration is called the “Lantern Festival.” Red is considered to be a very lucky color here and also symbolizes joy. The lanterns are believed to bring calmness and happiness. There are many meanings behind the Lantern Festival, but one thing that it does is celebrate and cultivate positive relationship between people, families, nature and the higher beings they believed were responsible for bringing/returning the light each year.
Plumb blossoms and other plants and flowers:: These plum blossom trees are EVERYWHERE. It seems to me that these seem to be the centerpiece of Chinese NY decorations (at least in public places). According to wiki, they symbolize good luck. Other sources say that flowers symbolize wealth and high positions in one’s career. Blooming plants in general symbolize new birth and growth. Many times, surrounding these plumb blossom trees, you will see many little tangerine plants (Zach actually likes to joke about stealing a few as a snack…we don’t think that would go over too well here though).
There are many, many other decorations and customs that come along with Chinese New Year, but I will just leave you with this info for now.
This is a picture of my friend Jenny and I in front of one of the mall decorations. We met for coffee this past week. She is precious. I met her at the church I go to in HK. She is from the city, around my age, and currently looking for a job. I am having so much fun getting to know her, and thankful to have her as a friend.
Welcome to my favorite moment while being in Dallas. That’s right, my Granny, from Scottsboro, AL, did a lil rap at her church on Christmas. She gladly reenacted the rendition. Isn’t she just the cutest thing you have ever seen? Hope you enjoy:
For those of you who don’t know, I flew home to Dallas this past Thursday to stay here for a week. So far, my time here has been such a blessing. I am sure you have a few questions, so I will go ahead and answer them Q&A style below:
Q: Why am I home?
A: Since January of last year, after being diagnosed with Diabetes type 1, I entered into a clinical trial. The procedure of clinical trials are very specific. As a result, I had an office visit today that I had to fly home for.
Q: What is this clinical trial you are in?
A: This clinical trial is called the “protege” study. A couple of the requirements for being is this study were to be diagnosed with type 1, and to still be in the “honeymoon” phase of diabetes. In type one, the beta cells in your pancreas, which produce insulin, are depleting, but within the first few months, all of your insulin producing cells are not gone yet. Therefor you are in the “honeymoon” phase. So I was eligible for this study. Everyday for two weeks in January and July, I was given a drug through a picc line. The desired effects of the drug are to preserve the remaining good insulin producing cells in the pancreas. I had an 80% chance of recieving the drug, and a 20% chance of recieving the placebo.
Q: What was I doing at the doctor’s office today?
A: Interspersed between and after the drug, were/are office and telephone visits. They are following my insulin dosage and watching other things in my blood to see how I am responding to the drug. Today at the doctor’s office, they put in an iv, which they used to draw blood from, and gave me some boost (a meal replacement drink) to drink, and then came in every 15-30 minutes for four hours to draw blood.
Q: Do I think I am recieving the drug and why?
A: Yes, I am pretty sure I am recieving the drug. Why? Because the amount of insulin I am taking has actually gone down significantly from when I started taking insulin. I am on an unheardofly (I know that’s not a word) small amount of insulin. On average I use about 15 units of insulin/day, while many people use 40, 75, 100 or more units of insulin/day.
Q: What does that mean? Why would you want to be on a small amount of insulin?
A: There are a million reasons why. I honestly don’t even know all of the reasons (some of this is beyond my understanding I guess). To keep things simple on this question, just know that diabetes is a life-long, day in day out disease, with the potential of many long term affects. The fact that my pancreas is producing some insulin on it’s own is a good thing and completely new in the diabetes world. The more things I have going for me healthwise with diabetes, the less likely I am encounter some of the longterm effects/problems, ect…you can let me know if you have more questions on this one.
Q: Do I think this drug will be passes and released onto the market?
A: Yes I do. Not sure when, but I would think within a couple of years.
There are just a few questions answered for you. Let me know if you have any others. There might be a more fun post on the rest of my time in D-town coming soon…
The little Dean boys were over at our apartment pretty recently. Josh and Caleb of course asked me if they could see my room. Josh’s big question for me was, “What is your favorite thing in your room?” Didn’t you ask these kinds of questions when you were little? I remember asking adults questions like, “What is your favorite color?” and being serious about it. I mean I really needed to know what their favorite color was. It was important. Anyway, after looking around my room I told Josh that right now I would have to say that these flowers that my sister, Tay-Tay, gave me (well, really got Malorie to give to me) for no reason other than the fact that she wanted me to know that she loves me and is thinking of me have to be my favorite thing in my room right now.
Here is a picture of them:
The yellow and blue/purple flower combo has to be one of my favorites. On a side note, notice the window in the background? This is what our windows look like in the mornings when it has been pretty cool and foggy…which has been common these days. That water dripping down the window is INSIDE of our windows. Yes. We enjoy waking up to a little puddle of water on our windowsills many a day. After a couple near scares, I have learned not to leave anything important there (such as my computer) or anything important leaning on the window.
All that to say, thanks Tay-Tay for my flowers. I am loving them. Funny how flowers seriously never get old. Can’t wait to see you in nearly a week!!!
On wednesday we celebrated Micah’s 23rd bday. We started out having pizza and cake at the girls’ apartment, and then headed over to a bowling alley here in Shatin for our first time since we have been in HK. We had so much fun. The team (well those of us who were in town) were there as well as ten-fifteen friends who came and joined us.
Here is a picture of some of the crew paying:
We took up three lanes and had to be the loudest people there. For most of our friends, this was their first time to bowl. And they seemed to really enjoy it. Two of the guys must have been naturals because they were doing really well.
Okay, so I know that what you are REALLY wanting to know is who won. So let’s go ahead and get to the good stuff. Below is a picture taken of the score board of the game I payed in:
I won’t tell you who every initial on the board represents, but I will tell you the top three names. The first is of course Micah. Yes, he won…obviously. By a landslide. The next two initials though are me (Mary) and Beth. Can you see those scores? If you can’t, I will go ahead and reiterated them to you. My score was 98 and Beth’s score was 97. What was that Beth? Oh that’s right, I beat you. You could say that Beth and I were competing with one another the whole time:) We can get kind of into things.
Also, I thought I would include a shot of some of us girls. We enjoy being silly together.
Now while this day probably does not signify anything to you (well, unless it is your birthday), today marks a year of being diagnosed with Diabetes Type 1 for me. This isn’t some crazy, huge monumental day for me, but it is neat to reflect on what all has happened this year. It has been quite a journey. Literally there have been more big decisions, changes in direction, and surprises in this year than I ever would have thought possible. Something that I have had to sit on a whole lot, is that the Lord will never give us more than we can handle. Never.
I could probably write a whole novel for you on this year, but I know that no one would read more than maybe one or two pages worth…so I will spare you of the novel and just let you in on some of the the surprises and some of the things that I have learned in regards to diabetes specifically.
In this past year…
-I weighed as much as I probably did in seventh grade (and now I will just say that I don’t any more).
-I lost probably a third of the hair on my head (never knew how much this could mess with your identity until I experienced it), and I gained it back.
-Learned how to count carbs (through studying and trial and error) and do count every carb I eat.
-Started checking my blood glucose several times a day.
-Learned what it means to give myself grace when my blood glucose is high or low, or if I eat something every now and then that I “shouldn’t.”
-Learned how to give myself shots of insulin.
-Learned how to give myself insulin several times a day.
-Learned what hypoglycemia is by experience.
-Learned what hyperglycemia is by experience.
-Got diagnosed with hypothyroidism.
-Learned how to say no to foods, ect.
-Learned how to say no in life in general.
-Learned how to plan ahead for meals, exercise, and insulin dosage related to these things.
-Learned discipline in life in general.
-Learned why people get frustrated with diabetes, because as my diabetes educator says, “Diabetes is like a full-time job that you didn’t sign up for, that you never get a day off from, and that you can never quit.”
-Learned how to not let diabetes govern my life and steal my joy.
-Started using an insulin pump.
-Learned how much better a pump is than needles.
-Leaned how much it costs to be diabetic (I mean, wow).
-Learned how difficult health insurance companies can be and how much they just don’t want to pay for things.
-Have had to learn forgiveness, love, grace, and kindness toward health insurance and the people I have talked to.
-Have at least some understanding of how much medical expenses can cost for people in general.
-Have seen how much this disease has affected my family.
-Sympathize with caretakers more that I ever have before in my life.
-Have experienced what it is like to be in a medical trial.
-Gotten two picc lines.
-I have been in the doctors office for literally 5-6 weeks this year.
-Have been blessed to see how kind and gracious doctors and nurses can be.
-Would call a lot of people in my doctor’s office friends.
-Have experienced constant love, support, and concern from my friends.
-Have learned what it means to trust God in this and to know that some how this is shaping me and is for HIS GLORY.
I could list more, but as you can see, the list has already gotten quite long (sorry!)…
One thing that I have never been so excited about before in my life is knowing that one day I WILL RECEIVE a perfect and new body. I have understood more than ever that this world is not our home. I know that Jesus has endured SO MUCH MORE than you or I. That He sympathizes with us in our suffering. That He is near to us. We are called to cast our burdens on Him. For He cares for us. I have actually grown to be thankful for this disease. Why? Because I have to rely on God every day. In big things and in small things. This is one way I carry my cross everyday. One way I can glorify God and lift Him up everyday. One way I can persevere and endure the race.
So to Him be all the glory and honor and praise forever and ever.
A couple of the most common questions that I get here in HK from family and friends at home are: “How is diabetes going?” and “What are you eating.” I don’t really know why this has been surprising to me, but for some reason, it is always kind of funny when someone asks me this questions. The truth is that I feel funny because I usually only know how to answer these questions with the short version of “fine” or the long version with a thirty minute explanation.
All of this to say that one thing I can tell you is that oatmeal is definitely the most consumed breakfast in our little flat. Mornings usually go something like this…Malorie and I wake up around the same time. I will start boiling water to make my old fashioned oats the way that my mom always made them, and then get the coffee going. Malorie will then come in and get out a bowl to heat up her instant oats in the microwave. If we have any milk in the fridge, she will add milk, otherwise, she is stuck with adding water. Sometimes Malorie will switch up her oatmeal, but usually it includes brown sugar and fruit (bananas, strawberries, etc) if she has it on hand. Now, growing up I used to go with the reliable brown sugar and butter combo in my oatmeal, but diabetes seems to have kicked that habit. This might sound like a weird little concoction to you, but my oatmeal includes: frozen blueberries, flaxseed meal, a little butter, two splenda packets, cinnamon, and a spot of vanilla extract. I can just picture some of your faces going, “splenda…gross,” or “flaxseed meal? What even is that?” However, I really enjoy my little morning meal.
I am happy to let you know that a new guest has joined our oatmeal mornings. Her name is Beth. She flew here all the way from TN/TX (she is in the middle of moving) to join us here for three weeks. I really cannot even begin to tell you how thankful I am that she is here. We have already had so much fun together, and I am so glad that we get to tote her around this city for another twenty days. I love getting to watch her take in and react to this place. She definitely has not gotten used to the whole lack of personal space thing. Yesterday she was standing in line to try on a pair of jeans and she looked at me with her little “I’m mad” face and said, “I’ve got a pusher behind me.”
All this to say that Beth has been joining us in eating oatmeal most mornings. She usually just does a little oatmeal and peanut butter combo…never seen that one before.
So there’s a little glimpse into our everyday life here in HK. Hope you enjoyed.
